The Amazing Race

This weekend I went to Cinque Terre (five small towns in North Western Italy that are connected by hiking trails) with Bridget, Morgan, Nancy Sue and Becca. We had a blast, but it was also one of the most ridiculous adventures I’ve ever been on. We joked throughout the weekend that we were secretly being filmed for a new season of “The Amazing Race”—a reality show in which teams race around the world and complete inane tasks all in hopes of coming in first for a million-dollar prize. The situations we found ourselves in were very Amazing-Race-esque, and so I’ve recounted the weekend for you in the style of the show.

Depart Roma Termini at 11:50 pm. Travel by train to Devia Marina, one of the several train stations for Cinque Terre.

Arrive at Devia Marina train station at 6:30 am. It’s still dark out. We realize that we don’t know how to get to our hostel from the train station, so we call the number we have to get directions. We find out the number is actually a fax number. Discover that there is a free shuttle that will take us to the hostel, but it won’t come until 9:00 am. Find a nice middle-aged woman seated outside the train station, and decide to ask her for directions. She says it’s about a half hour walk from the station. “Detour”: a choice between two tasks. Since the sun was finally up (it’s now approximately 7:00 am) we decide to walk. Stop three different people to confirm we are going in the right direction. Everyone immediately recognizes the name of the place we are staying and insists that it’s very close. We are not convinced.

7:45 am: arrive at La Sfinge CAMPGROUND.

7:46 am: get caught in an Old Testament-style downpour. (Like the Northwest of the United States, the Northwest of Italy is extremely rainy.)

7:47 am: find shelter in the campground’s dishwashing station?

7:48 am: send Nance out on a stealth mission to scout out the situation. She reports back that the camp store opens at 8:00 and the reception desk opens at 9:00.

After some necessary waiting and a bottle of Ace juice (orange, carrot, and lemon juice—trust me, it’s amazing), we “checked in” to our “hostel.” We were shown our “accommodations” which were really tents. Real, live, actual tents. Which were damp from the above-mentioned downpour. No worries, we changed quickly and were on our way to the next stage of the race.

Take the free shuttle bus (oh it does exist) to the Devia Marina train station. Buy a lot of train tickets. Travel by train to Riomaggiore, the “last” of the five towns, with plans to hike back. Arrive in Riomaggiore to more rain. Explore the town and then travel by way of the “Via Dell’Amore” (aka path built into the side of a cliff—don’t worry Dad, there was a railing) to the next town, Manadola. Explore Manadola with the help of the sun who had finally decided to join us, then travel by train to the next town because of a real-life road block (the trail was closed due to the rain).

Arrive in the third town, Corniglia, and find a “Roadblock”: a task that must be completed before moving forward. Climb 382 stairs to the town, which is on top of the cliff. (I am still deciding if climbing those stairs or climbing out of the Grand Canyon was more strenuous.) Explore Corniglia and pause for a “mandatory rest period” AKA gelato break.

Travel by foot to the next town, Vernazza. Hike approximately three miles up and then down a mountain. No, seriously. Take obscene amounts of pictures and encounter obscene amounts of American and French people, all of whom were better prepared for the trek than we were.

Arrive in Vernazza to an incredible view overlooking the town (see above) and the most beautiful church bells I have ever heard. Walk through the town to the water, where we take a well-deserved break on some rocks. Take off our shoes to put our feet in the water. Bridget and I got splashed up to our knees, but Nancy Sue took a full shower. Whoops.

Travel by train to the next town where we have a classy dinner of pasta, fish, and white wine. Travel by train back to Devia Marina. Catch the shuttle bus back to the campsite. Promptly pass out at 9:30 pm.

Sunday: Depart campsite at 10:50 am, hoping to catch the shuttle in order to take the 11:30 train. Realize there is another real-life roadblock: the road to the train station is closed to cars until noon. Detour: promptly decide to walk very quickly to the train station. Along the way, discover why the road was blocked: for an enormous bike race, obviously. Fantasize about where the cameras for the Amazing Race are hidden along the road and our subsequent television debut. Decide that our prize should be a lifetime supply of gelato from the gelateria across the street from school, which they will ship to us in the United States in golden buckets. Arrive at Devia Marina with time to spare. As we wait for the train, listen to small children cheer “Daddy!” as their fathers finished the bike race in the center of Devia Marina, just beyond the train station.

Depart Devia Marina at 11:57 am. Travel by train to Pisa, arriving at 2:30 pm. Find a map and start walking in the direction of the tower. Stop for pizza (in Pisa!) and discuss the tower: decide that it better be significantly tilted, not just slightly leaning. Continue on foot in the direction of the tower. Turn the corner and see the leaning tower of Pisa. Start yelling and jumping up and down in the middle of the street because that tower is DEFINITELY LEANING.

Walk around the establishment—the tower is really the bell tower of the duomo (“main church”) of Pisa, and so there is also a baptistery (the biggest in Europe, thanks random tour guide!) and an enormous basilica. Everything is made out of white marble and everything is huge and everything is crawling with tourists. Go in the free “for prayer only” entrance and pause for a mandatory rest (and thanksgiving!) period. Also enjoy a sneaky look at the rest of the church from this particular side chapel. Spend 45 minutes trying to find the perfect spot to take pictures of all of us holding up the tower. Are successful. Receive a call from my father in Switzerland who calls the tower, “the biggest geotechnical failure in the world.” Laugh hysterically.
Depart the tower area and walk through the entire city of Pisa. Realize this walk is shorter than the one we took between Devia Marina and the campsite. Stop for a “mandatory rest period” AKA gelato break. Depart Pisa at 5:45 pm. Travel by train to Roma Termini, arriving at 9:45 pm. Take the Metro home, take a shower, and promptly fall asleep.